appeal writing Archives ⋆ Hands-On Fundraising

How details help draw attention

At this time of year, your mailbox and inbox are probably as crowded as mine is. Appeals from organizations you’ve supported. And appeals from new organizations, hoping to grab your attention.

It’s overwhelming to you – a professional. Imagine how it feels to those kind donors?

There are many ways to grab someone’s attention. But not all of them are good. How can you stand out in the crowd?

Good attention and not-so-good attention

Imagine: you’re at a four-way stop when someone blasts through the intersection without even pausing. That car certainly grabbed your attention. Your heart is beating faster. You may have offered a gesture as they blew by.

That’s attention, all right. But not the good kind. Not the kind that makes you want to know the person driving that car.

Now imagine: you’re at a holiday gathering. (Well-ventilated and possibly still wearing your mask, right?) A friend of a friend is sharing a story.

Immediately, your ears perk up, because humans love stories. And this person is good at telling stories. She has your attention. When you find out the story is about someone in your community who just lost their house to a fire, you’re ready to help.

Which kind of attention does your organization need?

You’re ready to help because the need was expressed in a way you wanted to accept it. (A story) You’re ready because you already trust the storyteller. And you’re ready because this is something that happened in your community.

That’s the attention you want from your donors or prospective donors.

What does your organization offer that’s unique?

If you only tell but don’t show why your organization is the one to trust, you’ll have a hard time raising money. Especially at year-end!

So, how can you stand out?

This is why the little things matter. And by “little things” I mean details and specificity. What language are you using to describe your organization’s work?

Next time you have a heavy mail day at home, open them all and skim the appeal. My bet is you’ll find a lot of general language that doesn’t really mean much. “Help us serve our community”, for instance. Without some details, that means nothing, right?

How do you talk about your work?

Remember that your readers do not have the depth of knowledge you do about your organization’s work. If you have a recognized name, they’ll have some idea… but it’s probably not nearly as formed as you might hope.

Zoom in… details can make all the difference

Get specific. Use stories. Use details. For you, “we’re a food bank” unlocks a wealth of associations. You understand everything that happens, from sourcing food, to stocking it, to how you bring it to people or pantries. Your donors likely do not have your understanding.

So take them with you. Bring them to what you do and show them. This is where small details – the taste or scent or feel of something – can be the difference between attention your donor happily gives and donor boredom.

A hungry person walks into your soup kitchen and is greeted by the scent of chicken soup. It reminds her of the soup her mother made.

Or a customer at the pantry leaves, astounded by how heavy the bag in his arms feels. It’s been so long since he didn’t have to worry about his next meal!

What are the small, unique, human details that make your work clear? The ones that take it to a personal level? What can you use to connect your donors to your mission?

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Your donors don’t care about your fundraising goals

Your donors really don’t care about your fundraising goals. But they care – a lot – about your mission.

Fundraising goals are important – inside. But donors care about your mission. If you’re fundraising, you already know that. But is that reflected in how you ask for gifts?

Time and again, I see it: internal fundraising goals, how hard the staff is working, paragraph upon paragraph explaining how good the organization is at their work.

Your donors? They’re already there. They assume you work hard. They know you need to raise money to fund that work. And, most important of all, they trust your organization.

So why aren’t you talking with them – in all your communications – about your mission? About the people, communities, animals, or environment you’re there to serve – and how a gift will help?

What’s getting in your way? Here are some potential roadblocks to better fundraising.

Your organization’s “voice” as declared by non-fundraisers focuses only on happy stories

There’s so much room in your fundraising communications for happy stories! Newsletters can be full of them. And donors deserve to hear good news. But you cannot avoid talking about the problem your organization is there to solve – or at least, help.

Appeals are where you describe the problem. And if it’s a truly serious problem, worthy of serious donations, you have to show donors as well as tell them. And yes, it’s hard. I expect to cry as I write appeals. Because I feel the pain I’m describing.

And that’s what you want your donors to do, as well. Not to torture them. Not to exploit any beneficiaries. But to reach their hearts. And to explain that there’s a real problem… and they have the power to help.

We like to help. Helping makes us feel good. Don’t deny your donors that chance.

You’re buried in your fundraising goals

Maybe you feel like your job depends on meeting them. (There are far too many variables for that!)

Or maybe you’re already connecting “fundraising goals” and “problem solved” in your head. After all, this is your day-to-day life, right? You totally get it!

But donors have their own jobs and causes. And their own deadlines and worries. How you do your job shouldn’t be another concern to them.

So, fundraising staff: set your own goals. (And not based solely on the expense side of the budget!) Set them wisely – a little stretch, something to work hard for. But make them reachable.

Then translate that into your mission for your donors. Telling donors you need to raise $250,000 this month doesn’t explain the problem. You need to raise that amount because a new, life-saving piece of equipment costs $250,000. And if they can help, your organization will be able to buy it and put it right to work, in your community.

You’ve read that telling real stories – hard to tell stories – is “poverty porn” or the like

Covering over bad situations isn’t going to help. Avoiding reality isn’t going to help. And fundraiser, we’re in the reality business in a big way. People are hurting. Animals are being killed. And the climate crisis is real, friends.

But if you’re telling a personal story, you MUST treat that person with respect and consideration. And you share nothing they’re not comfortable with. You give them the power to veto sharing and find a new story if necessary. Their privacy and comfort are paramount!

Your job is to connect donors to mission

There’s a world of pain out there. And you, along with your donors, are part of healing it. But like a doctor can’t fix what she can’t diagnose, your donor can’t help when she doesn’t know how badly help is needed.

Be honest. Be real. Be full of empathy and respect – for anyone whose story you tell and for the people who’ll read that story.

Photo by Peter Conrad on Unsplash

Get behind me, Satan!

cartoon figure of a devil. Long eyelashes, pink shoes, white gloves.

Maybe you’re putting the finishing touches on your year-end appeal. Or maybe you’re already thinking about the next one. (Go you!) In either case, there are temptations – usually suggested by someone who doesn’t understand fundraising – that you will need to resist.

If you want the appeal to succeed, that is.

Temptation one: Keep it short to save money

It might be possible to write a really great one-page appeal. But I’ve never heard of one. And there’s a pretty huge body of experience to show that longer appeals do better.

All things being equal, two pages will do better than one. And four pages are better than two. Eight pages – yes, I said eight pages – will do better than four.

This is when someone will insist they’d never read an eight-page appeal. And when you get to explain to them that you don’t expect anyone to read the whole appeal.

(Pause here for their confused face.)

Almost no one reads every word of your appeal. You know that. And it’s ok because you also know that more real estate means more chances for you to catch their eye. And that a longer letter signals to your reader that they’re holding something important.

Write the appeal as long as it needs to be. Repeat your ask often. Give them a story to follow… a bit of suspense… a lot of emotion.

Temptation two: The kitchen sink

Now you know that adding some things to the package can boost your response. Premiums can work. (Yes, address labels work!)

But that doesn’t mean you just toss everything you can think of in the envelope like you’re packing to escape a nuclear meltdown.

Think of your appeal package as a whole. And keep it focused on your ask. Can you fold whatever someone wants to add into the package and the ask? Try it.

But if you’re thinking that more always means more… think some more.

What about messaging? I’ll bet you’ve been asked to add information or requests that have nothing to do with your appeal. An upcoming event, maybe.

Resist this temptation as well. Even with a long letter and a lift piece or two, you must keep your focus. Saving a few cents on postage to inform donors about something unconnected to your ask is not worth killing your response.

Temptation three: Your almighty brand standards

Your brand definitely matters. But sometimes, what is considered your brand is nothing more than a designer’s choice of colors, logo, and fonts. That’s not really your brand at all. Your brand is really how people feel about your organization.

And just because someone chose a cool modern font and colors to represent your organization doesn’t mean you should use them all for fundraising. That’s putting your organization’s sense of self before your donors’ interest in helping.

For print, a serif font, and a good point size, work best. It doesn’t matter if it looks sort of ugly to the brand police. They’re not your audience. Chances are your audience is older. Probably having some vision loss.

And what they can’t read, they won’t read.

Also, those old-fashioned fonts – like Courier! – remind people of typewritten letters. Back when things weren’t mass-produced. When that letter was intended for them, personally. That matters, too.

So tell the brand police to back off. You’re the fundraiser, so you’re in charge.

Temptation four: Happy talk!

So your organization does so much good work? And everything in the world is so dark right now? So why don’t we focus on the good news and make people happy?

Good news about that: you can make people happy. That’s what donor newsletters are for. Go to town. Give them all the credit. Share all the great news about what their gifts have made possible. Include all the happy photos, too.

But not in your appeal.

You are asking donors to solve a problem. If there’s no problem to solve, there’s no reason to give. It’s really that simple.

So avoid happy endings. Focus on the problem instead.

Sometimes, this temptation is about concern over how your organization is seen. You’d like to be the successful place taking names and kicking butts and making the whole world fair and equal and happy.

But you can’t be that if you don’t have donors. And you won’t be that if you’re focused on your organization instead of the donor. Practice shrinking the organization down until it’s just large enough to be a bridge between donors and the problem you solve. Let them cross that bridge and be the hero.

You don’t need pats on the back. You need support.

Temptation five: Skip the appeal

Ah… if only you could wish donor gifts right into your bank account, right? After all, sending out appeals costs money. Can’t we just send, like, a postcard or something?

Sure! But not if you need to raise money.

There aren’t many shortcuts in fundraising. (A great donor database system can be one!) You really have to do the work.

Fundraisers talk a lot about relationships. For many, if not most, of your donors, your fundraising mailings ARE the relationship. They’re how they know you need them. How they learn how they’ve helped. How they feel connected to your cause.

So yes, mailing throughout the year costs money. But not keeping up those relationships is so much more expensive! Fundraising requires investments to succeed. Don’t quit your donors like that.

There’s a reason so much fundraising has rules. They keep us on the straight and narrow – focused on donor relationships and inviting people to be part of your cause. Go and do good!

Too many cooks spoil the chili – or your next appeal

Or why too many cooks who don’t know what’s already in the pot can make a mess.

Years ago, my family was gathered at my parent’s home to celebrate Christmas. By then, we were a big crowd – I have three siblings, and each of us has two children.

So my mom planned to make eating easy: simple, hearty stuff we could help ourselves to as we wished.

That included a big pot of chili.

Now, my mom’s chili was known to all as a little… cautious. Definitely not highly spiced. Mom could make some seriously good cookies. But I think her heart wasn’t into cooking… it was an act of love.

Of course, no one wanted to hurt her feelings.

So without saying a word, I added a little seasoning to the pot. And without letting anyone else know, my husband, sister, and brother all did the same. Each of us just wandered into the kitchen, took something from the spice rack, and tried to fix the chili.

You can guess what the result was, can’t you? From a bit bland, the chili became inedible.

Our well-meaning contributions hadn’t been coordinated. Nor had any of us really tasted what was in the pot as we worked. And without knowing what had gone in, how could we improve it?

We took “almost right” and made “what a mess”.

My mom’s chili is what happens when people who don’t know what they’re doing mess with your writing.

It could be board members. Or staff members. (Or even consultants.)

But it usually involves people who don’t know as much as you do about writing to your donors.

They mean well. They want to help. But they haven’t considered everything.

They can’t taste what’s in the pot.

If you’re the expert – if you’re the one charged with writing to your donors – then you need to be in charge of the chili.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek out some help.

Had Mom asked one of us to take charge, all would have been well. (My husband makes some good chili, for instance.)

If you’re new to donor communications, bringing in outside help is smart. Your job then is to trust them and learn.

But if you’re the fundraising copywriter, you should know your stuff and be trusted to do your work.

So let’s take some lessons from mom’s chili and too many cooks

Before you start cooking: collaborate on the front end

If we’d thought to coordinate better with Mom, I could have brought the chili – already seasoned.

Think about why you will write, what you will write and who will sign the letter before you even begin. Outside copywriter? My clients who gather great content end up with the best work. Line up interviews, gather background… and clear any internal paths before the writing starts.

What story will you tell?

Get all the permissions you need now, instead of later. (“We couldn’t possibly use her name!” “Well, yes we can. She loved the idea.”)

If you’ve found the perfect story, but the subject of the story is uncomfortable, find a different story. It’s hard to dance around the edges without wrecking the details that make a story work.

A conversation at the start will uncover ways to collaborate that will make the subject feel good. Trust is important in every aspect of fundraising. This is no exception!

Who will tell the story in your appeal?

If your board chair has an impressive degree and will not allow his signature to go on a letter that uses contractions, look for a different person. Do it before you even begin.

In many cases, he’s not the best person anyway.

Look beyond someone’s position:

What about someone personally affected by your work?
A staff member who works directly with clients?
Even a truck, like my friends at Agents of Good used?

Be creative. Find someone whose voice and signature enhance your appeal.

Who will approve the appeal?

Do you need approval from your Development Director or Executive Director? Talk through your concept now, before you start writing. Get them on board from the start, and you’re more likely to get that approval later.

You need that trust.

The people you have to run your appeal by aren’t trying to make life difficult. They feel responsible. But if they’re not experts, their well-meaning help can derail your work.

When you bring them in early and keep them updated, it helps them feel comfortable. When you use those early conversations to show them you know what you’re doing, that helps even more.

Consider every objection an opportunity at this stage. Explain why the letter will likely be more than one page. And why the language will be conversational, not formal. And, yes, it will be emotional, but that’s not manipulative.

Back up your arguments – try sending them to SOFII for Jerry Huntsinger’s tutorials. Or read Lisa Sargent, Pamela Grow, Julie Cooper, Sheena Greer, Ann Green, Jeff Brooks, Steven Screen or Tom Ahern.

Too many cooks: say no to committees

You can work upfront with the person who will sign and approve your next appeal.

But do not invite opinions from everyone.

Everyone has their own agenda – and unlike yours, theirs is likely not focused on your donors. Or not focused at all. (Don’t use your P.S. for all the “oh yeah, tell them this!” requests.)

A committee – staff or board – is a surefire way to wreck an appeal.

They are not all donor communications specialists. And they don’t understand the appeal is about donors, not about how they want to present the organization. They’re probably convinced that good arguments win the day.

You know that’s not the case.

A tasty finish: Approval

Since you’ve already helped those who have to approve understand what works, you’re more likely to get that yes.

But here’s the truth – you will rarely get through without some changes. We all make mistakes. Or facts have changed.

So you’ll have to make some changes. Just be careful. Factual errors? Absolutely! The rest? Negotiate and teach. Try to keep the changes to things that won’t ruin the final creation.

Then serve your appeal up to your donors

You’ll learn about your audience when you see your responses.

If it’s just right – to their taste – you’ll see gifts coming in. If you’ve missed, they may pass this time. Learn, try again, do better.

That’s what we all do.

Photo by Diana Polekhina on Unsplash

7 simple things you can do now to energize your year-end appeal

Stressed about fundraising right now? Here are a few ways to energize your year-end appeal.

1. Eliminate the kitchen sink

Chances are, no single donor can give your organization everything you need. And that’s good! Strong organizations are built with strong communities of people who all want to help a shared mission.

So don’t ask for everything you need. Donors aren’t Santa. They’re not magic. And they don’t have to spend their carefully shepherded attention trying to figure out how you want them to help.

So make it easy on them. Focus on one need. Then use your story to illustrate it. Desperate to include more? You could add an additional piece to the mailing that highlights another need.

2. Identify the problem you need help to solve

The more specific you can be, the better. “Give to our annual appeal” is so much less effective than “your neighbors are hungry. You can help with a gift today”. Here’s where that one, small, important detail can be your best friend.

Once you’ve identified the problem, find a story to illustrate it. This is the difference between “show” and “tell”. And think about it… We get “told” things all day long, through multiple channels. It’s exhausting!

But “show” us something and we’re interested, brought closer, allowed to feel the real need.

3. Don’t make it about you

But it is about “you”.

Let me explain. Your copy should be conversational – one person to one person. That’s the same whether you’re mailing to 10 people or 10,000. So Tom Ahern’s simple “you test” can help you ensure you’re doing that.

Write your appeal. Then go through and highlight every instance of the word “you” – like “your” “you’re” etc. You can even just use the “find” function in Word. What you should find is lots and lots of “you”. And not so much you – as in the organization.

You want your organization to be the mediator. The nice person who introduces someone with a problem and someone who likes to help solve problems. That’s your job. You don’t need to brag. Establish that you have the expertise. Then get out of the way.

You know that joke about a self-involved person who says, “Well, enough about me. What do YOU think of me?”

Don’t be that person – or organization.

4. Think about a package, not a letter for your year-end appeal

This may not be simple, but it could help a lot of organizations’ appeals. Think beyond a letter. Definitely think beyond a letter with a buck slip attached!

Most of the appeal packs I create have a letter – usually 4 pages – a full-page reply form (front and back), a return envelope, and an outer envelope.

Will it add a bit to your printing costs? Yes. Will it likely also add to what you raise? Yes. Of course, testing is the only way to know – your organization is unique. But give it a try. And at special times – like year-end – think about adding even more. A special insert (a “lift” because it usually lifts response) can really help!

5. Don’t be afraid to let photos do the heavy lifting

If you’re lucky enough to have great photos (and boy, is that a smart fundraising investment!) use them.

It really is true that photos communicate faster and better than words do. Our eyes have been part of the human package far longer than words have.

Put a pair of eyes, looking into the camera, in front of someone – even on a page – and they will look at it. It’s primal.

So if you have those photos, let them sing.

6. Simplify it!

When you’ve written your appeal package, put it aside for a bit. Then go back through it and cut anything that isn’t absolutely necessary.

I’m not talking about cutting for word count here. Don’t even worry about that. (And please, don’t let anyone bully you into a one-page letter!)

I’m talking about clarity and focus here. Remember that one need? Does everything you write focus on it? Or are there tangents?

Ask a friend who doesn’t know a lot about your work to read it. Are explanations required? Then you need to be more clear.

Don’t be afraid to cut wildly. Go ahead and save your original if you like. (I do!) But be ruthless. Your readers will thank you by actually, maybe, reading!

7. Want to really energize your year-end appeal? Add more love.

I see you out there, rolling your eyes. But I’m standing firm on this one.

Fundraising is emotional. Feelings are messy, and sometimes scary, sure. But feelings are why people give. We see someone else hurting and when we know we can help, we want to help!

So review your appeal. Does it make you feel just a little uncomfortable? Like when you meet someone you really click with, then wonder if maybe you said too much?

Did you just splash your heart all over the page on behalf of the people who need help?

If you did, you’re showing donors how to react to your appeal. You’re clearing the path for them to feel ok – even good – about making a somewhat irrational choice to part with their own money to help a stranger.

And that’s an act of love.

Photo by Thomas Kelley on Unsplash