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You are here: Home / Annual Giving / Don’t fall in love

Don’t fall in love

Don't fall in love with yourself
Don’t fall in love with yourself
(photo thanks to mensatic)

It feels wonderful to be in love. Colors are brighter, sounds are sweeter. You know, all that pop song stuff.

But it’s a dangerous thing to fall in love with your own writing. Or with your own organization.

Don’t get me wrong – you want to put your best forward. You want to do your best writing. And you want to feel passionately about your work. That’s all good.

What’s not good is that gooey, love-blind stuff when it comes to either. That just leads to trouble.

With your writing

This one is simple.

DO NOT fall in love with your own writing. Resist the urge to admire your own creation. Because you’re kidding yourself.

I’m sorry. I know that sounds harsh.

But when you fall in love with your own writing, you stop writing well. Why? Because the biggest, hardest part of writing isn’t writing. It’s editing. And you can’t do that blinded by love. You can’t do it when every cut sentence or deleted word feels like killing a child.

Don’t be tender-hearted. Be ruthless.

We can all recognize the writing of someone in love with her own beautiful prose. You might as well wish the author and her writing a happy life together – alone. Because no one else is going to love those words like she does.

Let go of any attachment to your words as yours. Your words are tools. They’re meant to be understood by someone else. If they fail that, they fail.

Your organization

It’s great to believe in your organization’s mission. With passion. With conviction. You need that to really succeed and be happy succeeding.

What I’m talking about here is the sort of love that excludes, instead of includes. You’ve seen it. It’s the organization that loves to talk about itself. Communication that’s all “we” and no “you”. They probably have their own cheerleading team. Or matching t-shirts, at least. They’ve done amazing things! They’ve won awards! They’re celebrating 30 years! Aren’t they just so wonderful you’ll want to send them money?

No?

Yeah, me either.

Here’s the thing. No matter how passionate you are about your cause, you shouldn’t confuse the mission with the organization. Your organization isn’t the hero.

Your donor is the hero.

So fall in love with your work. Fall in love with your donors. But not with your words. And not with your organization.

Need help with that? Hang this reminder above your desk:

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU sign

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Filed Under: Annual Giving, Blog, Donor communications Tagged With: appeal writing, donor-focused, fundraising writing, writing for donors 6 Comments

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Comments

  1. Charlie Marshall says

    August 7, 2013 at 3:39 am

    A very good point and well put. Years ago I read a short story called ‘Cousin Len’s amazing adjective cellar. The cellar (as in salt cellar) was a device you moved along the page and it sucked up all extraneous adjectives (and adverbs if I remember correctly: it was a long time ago!) Try it.

    I annoyed someone from HR the other day for repeatedly using the word ‘utilise’ instead of ‘use’. Convoluted, overblown English is BAD English and detracts from the message. Mary C is absolutely correct: fundraising literature simply cannot afford to be narcissistic.

    ________________________________

    Reply
    • Mary Cahalane says

      August 7, 2013 at 9:21 am

      Thanks very much, Charlie. Jeff Brooks offers similar suggestions – get rid of most adjectives and adverbs. “That” is an often unneeded word. There are so many habits we all fall into! That’s where editing comes in, of course. Brutal editing, if necessary. (There, I used an adjective!)

      Reply
  2. Julii says

    August 12, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    The Ms. Cahalane thing is generational, I think. I would never prsumee to first-name a donor I hadn’t interacted with in person, and am offended when I get Dear Alexandra or, worse Dear Alex letters.

    Reply
    • Mary Cahalane says

      August 12, 2015 at 7:03 pm

      I think it depends. I don’t usually mind Ms. Cahalane. (Do NOT ever call me Mrs., though!) When it bothers me is when it’s from an organization I was close to – particularly as a staff member. Then the formality feels like I’m being held at arms’ length. I’ve gone from family to stranger. Does that make sense?

      The best solution, of course, is to ask your donors how they’d prefer to be addressed. And then do it that way!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. [Headlines] Hope is Not a Strategy | says:
    August 13, 2013 at 10:03 am

    […] Don’t fall in love It feels wonderful to be in love. Colors are brighter, sounds are sweeter. But it’s a dangerous thing to fall in love with your own writing. Or with your own organization. Don’t get me wrong – you want to put your best forward. By Mary Cahalane […]

    Reply
  2. How to raise more money. (Hint: It's not about you.) – Hands-On Fundraising says:
    May 26, 2015 at 11:28 am

    […] I’ve joked for years that I ought to make “It’s not about you” into a sign. And every development office ought to display it. If you want to really succeed, you should remind yourself of that constantly. […]

    Reply

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