Zoom in… How close can you get?
If you want to write better, one resource I love is the Very Good Copy newsletter from Eddie Shleyner.
Recently, he wrote about photography and zooming in to get a better image.
He quoted photographer Robert Capa:
“If your pictures aren’t good enough, you’re not close enough.”
Getting close gives you less action, but more emotion. And emotion is what we react to.
Compare these two images Eddie shared:
See how much better the photo on the right is? This matters to photography, but also to writing.
It’s easy to overlook, though. If you’re focused on sharing your organization’s good work, your instinct may be to fall back on numbers. Or your process. Or just the big picture.
(And if you’re writing a grant, that may be precisely what the grantor is looking for. But your donors will find it less compelling than a human-sized story.)
Emotion is in the details
You already know that we’re drawn to people’s (and animals’) eyes. It’s often the first way we weigh their mood and intentions. Do we see anger? The situation may be dangerous; proceed with caution. Do we see joy? We wonder what wonderful thing is happening or has happened.
Do we see sorrow or fear? Most of us are moved to help.
And feeling moved to help is the first step toward helping. That’s the feeling you want to inspire in your supporters or potential supporters.
So, knowing that “eyes are the mirror of the soul,” why would you offer a list of completed tasks instead?
How to zoom in with words
You don’t have to be James Joyce with Ulysses. (Yes, I’ve read it. Several times. No, I still can’t say I get it all.) The novel, all nearly 800 pages of it, traces the thoughts and actions of three characters over one day. So, as you might imagine, there is a lot of detail.
You, however, have a lot less room. So, find the most important emotions you want to communicate. And zoom in.
Small details – how someone’s hands trembled as they told their story, how they looked away when talking about a really difficult moment – those can communicate a lot of emotion with few words.
If you’re telling a story that someone shared with you, it’s easier to focus on those details. If you’re working from a story you’ve been given, you’ll need to assume a few details.
What happens still matters
Of course, the action of the story still matters. When a family loses a house, it matters. So your readers need to understand the situation, of course.
But to communicate the gut-wrenching feeling of that loss, you want to zoom in.
What did it mean to their young kids, suddenly without a place to sleep? What did the parents feel? Guilt? Anger? Despair? All of the above?
Sharing those emotions, with salient details, will bring your readers so much closer to this family. And we’re more likely to help someone we feel we know.
So ask “how did that feel” questions. And zoom in on the details. A lost teddy bear? Family heirlooms that didn’t fit in the car and had to be left behind? The photo album, full of baby pictures, that the mother drags with her… because those are too priceless to lose?
Use images as well as words when you can
Of course, your words don’t have to do all the lifting. Great, emotional images can do much of the work. So look for those that show feelings, not just the situation.
You may need to use stock photography, of course. People’s privacy – especially in difficult situations – is paramount. Here’s where it may be easier to find a photo that shows the emotion you want to communicate rather than the action of the story. (Just be honest. Let your readers know it’s a stock photo to protect privacy.)
So, how will you zoom in for your next appeal?
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