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You are here: Home / Blog / The royal we

The royal we

Mythological portrait of the Family of Louis XIV
Does this look like your nonprofit?

Do you see a lot of the “royal we” in your mailbox?

Know what I mean?

“XYZ has been successfully helping [poor, hungry, sick] people for more than 30 years. During that time, we have blah, blah, blah. We have been recognized by Charity Navigator for our excellent finances. We have been celebrated by our peers…”

Looks familiar, doesn’t it?

There’s way too much of this going on! So many organizations trying to sell me on why they’re wonderful.

They’ve got the wrong idea.

The fundraising staff (and, another topic, but that includes everyone, right?) shouldn’t be selling me on their organization’s awesomeness.

They should be selling me on MY awesomeness.

They should be telling me just how awesome I’ll feel when I help someone.

And hey! I can do that by making a gift right now to their nonprofit. Awesome!

Focus on the people you’re writing to and the people you help.

Your organization isn’t the star.

Here’s a tip:

Every time you find a sentence in your appeal or acknowledgment that begins with the royal “we”, try putting something like “Thanks to you” or “Because of you” in front of it.

If it’s an acquisition appeal, try “Thanks to people like you” or “Because of caring people like you”.

That puts the emphasis back where it belongs – on your donor.

One more important thing

Since I wrote this my friends Nancy Schwartz and Lisa Sargent rightly suggest “we” can be powerful.

When? When “we” includes the donor. When it’s your donor working with your organization to get great things done.

Not when it’s all about you – except, oh yeah, the donor could send a check.

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Filed Under: Blog, Donor communications Tagged With: appeal writing, direct mail, Nonprofit 5 Comments

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Comments

  1. Scott Cargle says

    June 25, 2013 at 8:39 pm

    Reblogged this on The Straight Dope on Fundraising and commented:
    Keep Your We On The Donor?

    Reply
    • Mary Cahalane says

      June 25, 2013 at 10:30 pm

      Thanks, Scott! And I like it!

      Reply
  2. dorit says

    July 2, 2013 at 9:10 am

    Thanks Scott. YOU made a difference!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. How to heal an unappealing fundraising appeal – Hands-On Fundraising says:
    March 18, 2015 at 2:13 pm

    […] reads a bit too much like the royal we to me. (How nice of you – you’ll allow me to send you […]

    Reply
  2. She's the one – Hands-On Fundraising says:
    October 25, 2016 at 11:49 am

    […] the royal we. It’s impersonal. It’s a waste of paper (or screen space) […]

    Reply

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