Do you want to be good enough?
It’s Christmas week. I don’t have a post ready to go. Instead, I’ve been busy thinking and shopping and running through lists in my head.
I get lovely cards from friends every day. I haven’t even taken a picture of my kids yet. And if I get around to cards, they’ll likely be electronic again this year.
I’ve wrapped gifts. Now I worry – is it enough? Will they be happy? Will they feel loved?
Christmas for me as a kid was a big deal. The house was decorated. The tree was real. And Christmas morning? The room was spilling over with packages for my sister and brothers and me.
Now? We’ve got a 4-foot artificial tree. It’s pretty enough, I guess.
But I can’t help feeling I should be better.
I probably shouldn’t admit it, but I feel it professionally, too – all year.
Doubt and worry tag along as unwanted companions. Am I good enough? Will it work? Will they like me?
Sound familiar?
Good fundraisers are often sensitive souls. We’re good at tuning into other people – their words (spoken and unspoken), their needs, and their dreams.
We’re used to calibrating our words and actions to meet donors where they are. That’s good – more than good enough.
But I’ve often seen that sensitivity bleed over into other areas.
It’s one thing to be attuned to your audience when evaluating your communications. It’s another to be slavishly sensitive to your boss or your board or your co-workers. You have to trust your own skills and judgment, too.
An article in The Atlantic looks at the work of psychologist Barry Schwartz. He studied the effect of too many choices in our lives. His work was published over a decade ago. Today, it’s even more of a concern. With the rise of social media, our choices have exploded.
People who do this {settle for good enough} are called “satisficers,” and they’re consistently happier, he’s found, than are “maximizers,” people who feel that they must choose the very best possible option. Maximizers earn more, Schwartz has found, but they’re also less satisfied with their jobs. In fact, they’re more likely to be clinically depressed in general.
So there’s room in our lives for some good enough. We’d probably be happier if we learned to let go a little.
But when it comes to your work, is “good enough” ever OK?
The answer is “sometimes”.
This article in Forbes suggests successful people find the area(s) where they stand out and then do great work there. For the rest, be good enough. The author lists six levels of delegation, from you need to do it yourself (and well) to ignore it.
In short, know your strengths and prioritize.
You won’t be perfect at everything. And you shouldn’t have to be. So decide and let the other stuff go.
There’s another aspect to this, though. Authenticity.
When you feel driven to present a flawless face to the world, you’re not sharing yourself.
And in fundraising, relationships matter. Authenticity matters.
Sometimes that means being willing to be vulnerable – to admit to being less than perfect.
You’ve made a mistake?
Congratulations, you’re human. Apologize sincerely – and use your mistake as an opportunity to deepen the relationship.
Do you need to carve out time?
So you can care for a relative or friend right now? Be honest about your priority.
Feeling like a social misfit at the party?
Seek out the other person hiding at the edges. Instead of cocktail hour chit-chat, you have the chance to make a real connection.
Frightened because you might not make your year-end goals?
Don’t hide it. Take it to your boss and your board. It’s not all on you. Instead of underperforming, you’re being responsible. You’re putting your mission above your ego – that’s more than good enough.
Some of the most-valued, longest-lasting relationships I’ve formed have begun when I’ve felt not “good enough” and admitted it.
My kids will love me, whatever is under the tree. They don’t expect perfect decorations and home-baked cookies. Even when I get overwhelmed, I have faith in that.
That can be true in your professional life, too.
By being vulnerable, you offer the gift of you – with all your flaws and good intentions.
[…] nothing you do is ever good enough, it might be time to have a chat with that inner critic. Maybe even befriend it. After all, it has […]