Why you should write a thank you from the heart

Answer honestly: how much attention do you pay to the thank you letters or emails you receive after giving?

Do you quickly review it to be sure it’s a thank you letter, then file it for your taxes?

And does that make the whole experience feel a bit… impersonal?

I’m asking not because I think thank you letters don’t matter. Quite the opposite.

But I worry. Are we teaching our donors that their gifts are a transaction, not something meaningful?

Are we missing an opportunity to connect with why they gave in the first place? And… with no ulterior motive, to make them feel good because they did good?

Donor care doesn’t end with the gift

Saying thank you well is good business. But a thank you letter is not a business letter.

We spend a lot of time figuring out how to get donors’ and potential donors’ attention. Then how to persuade them that giving to our cause is a great idea.

We think through the psychology of giving, the utility of giving, and even the humanity of giving.

And when we receive a gift, we celebrate. And we should! That’s more than money; it’s a symbol of connection with our cause. It’s a “yes” vote for our work.

Why do we so often drop the ball afterward?

(I’m sure you, dear reader, don’t do this… but I know what I see in my inbox and mailbox. And when enough other organizations operate this way, it affects the entire sector. So if your thank you letters are warm and lovely, smile. And then read along because this won’t change until we all get the message across.)

Sending a prompt, human, thank you letter is just good manners. But if you were nagged to write thank you letters as a child, that idea may have negative connotations. (“Why do I have to write Grandma? I told her thank you!?”)

A good thank you is the first step toward more giving. It’s a way to build on the donor’s choice to join your organization’s mission. And it can cement the idea that they made a good decision when they chose to give.

So why is it so hard?

Is it fear of the feels?

If you walked into my office as I write an appeal, you might be worried. You’d see lots of concentration… and you might also think I’m near tears. Because sometimes, I am. I’m writing because something isn’t right in the world. Children are scared, people are hungry, war is tearing families apart…

These kinds of problems are why we’re here!

And after a moving appeal, the next most emotional thing I do is write thank you messages. I’m sure you could see that on my face, too.

I don’t believe you can create moving donor communications without being moved. Asking someone to help someone else is an act full of feelings.

So those business-like thank you letters… or worse, simple receipts (thanks for your business), don’t do much except go into the tax pile.

Begin and continue with a full heart

See it through your donor’s eyes. The relationship, the gift, began with feeling. Someone needed you. You responded. Rarely do we do that out of cold calculation.

And then, after you give…

You get a quick “Thanks” and a gift receipt for your taxes.

Ugh. No! Is that the experience you want your donors to have?

Instead, permit yourself to feel. You show a problem. You ask kind people to help solve it. And they respond. Isn’t that wonderful?

That giving choice makes those lovely people your partners, your teammates… your friends. (And not in a “Dear Friend” kind of way.)

And if by now, you’re rolling your eyes at me, consider this cold-blooded rationale:

Your thank you is the next tactical step toward getting another gift.

So don’t toss it off and walk away. Here’s what to do, instead.

Write your thank you from the heart

Think about how you wanted that donor to feel when you asked for their gift. Now imagine that person, choosing to part with some of their hard-earned money to help.

What would you say if they were standing in front of you? What if you were looking them straight in the eye? Would you want to shake their hand? Clasp their shoulder? Make human contact?

Of course, you would. So now put that on paper.

I know getting started is the hardest part. It is for me, too. So try this: just start. Remind yourself you can always go back and change things. Don’t get hung up on perfection.

Begin with simply “Thank you.”

Or… take advantage of my friend Lisa Sargent’s 1-Sheet Swipables: A Copywriter’s Gratitude Grab Bag for You to Steal With Abandon. She’s genius. And these will get you started on the right foot… or um, heart.

Thank you from the heart: a few pointers for you from me:

• Think of a thank you as relationship-building, not a chore.
• Remember, there’s nothing wrong with being effusive. (Remember, not a business letter.)
• You do not have to rank your warmth based on gift size.
• Go over the top to start. Tell yourself you can always pull back later. (Then don’t.)
• Think about the person receiving the thanks. Picture them. How do you want them to react?

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One last reason to write from your heart: you. Your work matters, you put your heart in it. And the best way to refill your heart is to share it with other people who feel like you do. Too much kindness? Too much gratitude? No such thing!

Photo by Klaus Andersen on Unsplash