Does a well-written appeal really matter?
In the rush to get something, anything, out the door on time, does it really matter how good it is?
Judging from my mailbox, many charities – even large ones – don’t seem to think so. The mistakes range from simple to fix ones – like formatting problems – to an outright rejection of the donor as involved in the process – other than as a check.
I shouldn’t be, but I’m always surprised by these. Don’t nonprofits with huge budgets have the resources to work with writers who know how to do this? Are annual giving programs just that low on the totem pole? Are they actually having the signer write the thing?
I don’t understand why an organization would spend the money to roll out a huge mailing and give the content so little attention. If it came to a choice, I’d mail less and do it better.
Take a look at this appeal:
Paragraph one: We’re awesome.
Paragraph two: Your money makes us awesome.
Paragraph three: Did you know there are more ways your money can make us awesome?
Paragraph four: Here’s a brochure about more ways you can send us money. Or you can call us to talk about how to give us more money.
Paragraph five: Thanks for sending us money.
OK, I’m being a little tough. Paragraph two got close to involving me, the donor. But then they veered right off into “we’re awesome” again. They’re the hero here – donors just get to help.
Where’s my story?
How did the money I gave last time change someone’s life? For pete’s sake, this is a cancer research organization – they can’t find me a story? This organization has pages on their website dedicated to patient stories. Why did they choose not to use one here? Since it’s a soft legacy ask, didn’t they think good practice would be even more important?
Here are the facts: we’re wired for storytelling. A story, well-told, puts our entire brain to work. It awakens our empathy. It touches us in a way no fact could do. In short, stories have what’s needed to move someone to make a gift.
So don’t tell me about your ranking or your awards. Tell me about me (that I’m caring and generous) and tell me about someone who needs me.
Does a well-written appeal really matter? Yes. Always.
The Other Bottom Line says
October 14, 2014 at 3:43 pmSuccinct and spot on Mary – well said!
Diana
Mary Cahalane says
October 14, 2014 at 3:44 pmThanks!
Michael J. Rosen, CFRE says
October 14, 2014 at 5:59 pmMary, I enjoyed this post. It continues to puzzle me that so many annual appeals are so terrible. The only good thing about this is that it provides consultants with steady employment. 🙂
By being donor-centered, organizations will be able to attract and retain more supporters at greater levels than would otherwise be possible. Thanks for shining a light on this vital subject.
Mary Cahalane says
October 14, 2014 at 6:34 pmThank you, Michael! And it’s great to “see” you here.
Ann Green says
October 15, 2014 at 10:25 amGreat post, Mary. A few years ago I bought holiday cards to support a cancer research organization mainly because I had just lost an uncle to cancer. This organization also sends appeals and other communication bragging about how they are number one in this and that. Don’t they realize people donate because they have a personal connection to their cause? It’s not about them.
Mary Cahalane says
October 15, 2014 at 10:32 amWe really should have signs made. That’s probably the most important point for fundraisers to remember: it’s not about you. Always about the donors.
Thanks, Ann.
jsmith141jay says
October 23, 2014 at 3:45 pmActually I would use this copy for a newsletter where you could include pictures, etc. It does state that they are the institution they are today because of “the incredible support we receive from our donors.” Hospitals and especially cancer centers have to tout themselves as above the rest because the competition is so severe. I had a Chairman of the Board of one such center tell me, “You’d think it’s be easy to raise money for a cancer research center, wouldn’t you? But it’s tough!”
Mary Cahalane says
October 23, 2014 at 4:14 pmEven there, the newsletter isn’t about THEM. It’s about the donor. That’s a critical difference, and one that too many organizations miss. They don’t have to offer persuasive arguments about how great they are – they need to make their donors feel how great they are when they give. How they’ve changed lives. The more you take your organization out of it and focus on the donor, the more successful you’ll be. Organization leadership might feel better when they can brag on their organization – it reflects so nicely on them. But that’s not the way to encourage donations.
Talk about your impact? Absolutely. Attribute that impact to your donors – that’s the key.
So that theoretical newsletter? I’d make it all stories of people who’d been helped – and every single blessed one would thank the donor. All “you” and very little “us”.
Mary Cahalane says
October 23, 2014 at 4:24 pmAnd I apologize if I came on too strong in my response. But it’s really something I feel strongly about – AND know works. It’s just a shame to see good organizations miss.