Finding the stories you need

Giving is an emotional act. And stories are the way we connect to people’s feelings.

You understand that. You know that we humans are wired for story. And that a story will plant an idea in someone’s head much better and faster than any list of facts.

Feelings unlock donors’ desire to help.

That’s why you need good stories, well told.

Finding the stories to bring your donors closer to your mission

As a fundraiser, you will want to nurture internal and external relationships. Get to know the people on the front lines of your organization’s work. Don’t just call them up for a story when you need one… nurture the relationship continually.

Show your interest in their work. And share why you find their work so important. When they understand more about what you do, and trust that your interest matters, they’ll be more likely to help you.

If you can light that spark, they’ll bring you stories. Then you can ask for an introduction to someone who can best share the story. The closer you can be to the source – the person at the heart of the story – the better.

The story interview

After an introduction, you’ll want to talk with the story subject. You have a few jobs here:

1. Make the person feel comfortable
2. Give them time to unwind their story for you
3. Ensure they know you can be trusted

1. Creating a comfortable atmosphere

You may have first heard about the story from a third party (a colleague, a volunteer, or someone working with your organization). Now you need to build a sense of comfort and trust with the story’s owner.

First, make sure they know why you’re asking for their story. How will it be used? Who will see it?

I prefer a video interview whenever possible. Voice leaves out so much. You can’t read a person’s face and body language on the phone. And those cues are important for how you’ll relate to them. Also: it’s easy now to record the interview… that means you don’t have to pull your attention away from the conversation to write notes.

But of course, it’s their choice.

Do (much) more listening than talking. Most of us respond well to someone listening to us. It can feel like a gift.

If you listen carefully, you will know what to ask. The conversation may very well veer away from your expectations. But that’s often where the most interesting details are shared.

2. Offer as much time as it takes to find the story

Try to make the conversation feel more like a chat between friends than a formal interview. Share a few things about yourself, and build connections.

Approach your subject with empathy. You are a caring person who wants to understand their story, not a go-getter news gatherer. If your interview subject feels you’re on a deadline, they’ll rush through and give you a brief timeline. That’s not what you’re looking for. Let them talk. Encourage them to say more.

I’ve found the exact questions you ask will depend on where the conversation goes. But have a few in your back pocket. I often start an interview by asking them to tell me about themselves. It’s amazing what you can learn if you really listen.

Then direct them to the story. Share the outline you already know and ask them to fill it in. Ask questions if you don’t understand anything. Ask them to say more about anything interesting.

Show your interest and give them the space to share their story.

3. Understand the ethics of being gifted with their story and using it

Remember the State of the Union response this year from Sen. Katie Britt? Keep that in mind. She used a very hurtful, personal story that wasn’t hers to share. She had no permission to share it. Don’t do that. The story isn’t yours until you are given permission by the subject. No matter how great the story is, or how much the person may have benefitted from your programs.

I always open the conversation by explaining my job and why I’m asking for them to share the story:

“I write for XYZ nonprofit. And we’re hoping to share your story in our next appeal. From what I already know, I think your story could inspire people to give.”

Then I share my ground rules. “You are in charge here. If there’s anything you hesitate to share or any information you want to keep private, that’s fine. I am recording our interview so I can focus on you today, but I will happily send you the recording afterward. You will see what I write before it goes anywhere outside the organization. And you can say no to us using any part or even everything you tell me today. You’re the boss of your story.”

Also, ask about using their name and/or likeness. (This is also totally their choice.)

From there, I usually have just one question planned. “So tell me about what happened…”

Then I listen. Carefully. Attentively… even raptly.

And that’s also the benefit of video. You can both see each other’s reactions. That means you can sense if you’re touching a sensitive spot and assure the person it’s okay to back away. And they can see if you’re paying attention.

I often reiterate their power throughout the conversation. “Remember, you don’t have to share anything you find uncomfortable.”

But I have rarely had a subject back away from any part of their story. There have been times I’ve underlined their control more than once when I’ve seen them vulnerable and emotional. But they’ve given great thought to sharing and usually, want to continue.

Help your audience see the story

We’re wired for stories… but stories with pictures are even better. So ask if the person you’re talking with has any they’d be willing to share. But assure them you can use a stock photo alternative if that makes them more comfortable.

As with sharing the story, I’ve rarely found people unwilling to share their photos. (The exception is when a parent or other adult shares a child’s story. Unless the parent or guardian is sure about it, I usually suggest a stock photo.) Children can’t decide for themselves, so protecting them is critical.

One last thing…

Are you old enough to have seen the TV show, Colombo? (Probably not. Ok. It’s just me.)

Short version: Colombo is a seemingly bumbling detective. Most people don’t expect much from him. But he always solves the crime. And his signature move is a classic:

He says goodbye. Turns to leave. Then he has one more question. The one that cinches it.

My last question is almost always the same:

Is there anything you’d want our supporters to know?

I hear such wonderful things when I ask!

Ensure they know their story is a great gift

Your story is such a personal thing! It’s how you see yourself, it’s how you’ll be seen by anyone reading or viewing it.

It’s truly a gift. And you – the interviewer – should treat it that way.  Be sure to thank the person you’ve been talking with. Reiterate their control of their story… at any point until it goes in the mail or is otherwise shared.

Internal follow-up matters, too

After you’ve written the appeal, newsletter, or any other piece, ensure that the person who shares a story sees it and consents to its use. You may need to work through the colleague who first connected you. So be sure they do follow through. You can get written consent (and with kids, you must!). But usually, I have consent on the video and that’s good so long as it’s not withdrawn.

Bonus points after finding the story

If the subject is someone still connected to your organization’s work, let them know what their gift accomplished. (Yes, just like with donors!) Put yourself in their shoes… wouldn’t it feel wonderful to know that by sharing your story, you encouraged people to support a mission that matters to you?

Admit, you love seeing how your fundraising is going, right? Let them share the joy, too.

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash