Do you see a lot of the “royal we” in your mailbox?
Know what I mean?
“XYZ has been successfully helping [poor, hungry, sick] people for more than 30 years. During that time, we have blah, blah, blah. We have been recognized by Charity Navigator for our excellent finances. We have been celebrated by our peers…”
Looks familiar, doesn’t it?
There’s way too much of this going on! So many organizations trying to sell me on why they’re wonderful.
They’ve got the wrong idea.
The fundraising staff (and, another topic, but that includes everyone, right?) shouldn’t be selling me on their organization’s awesomeness.
They should be selling me on MY awesomeness.
They should be telling me just how awesome I’ll feel when I help someone.
And hey! I can do that by making a gift right now to their nonprofit. Awesome!
Focus on the people you’re writing to and the people you help.
Your organization isn’t the star.
Here’s a tip:
Every time you find a sentence in your appeal or acknowledgment that begins with the royal “we”, try putting something like “Thanks to you” or “Because of you” in front of it.
If it’s an acquisition appeal, try “Thanks to people like you” or “Because of caring people like you”.
That puts the emphasis back where it belongs – on your donor.
One more important thing
When? When “we” includes the donor. When it’s your donor working with your organization to get great things done.
Not when it’s all about you – except, oh yeah, the donor could send a check.