Do you need to leave your job?
I resigned from my position a couple of weeks ago. It was a difficult decision, but for a host of reasons both personal and professional, it was also the right decision.
Before I actually resigned, I did a great deal of thinking and reading. How to do this in the best possible way?
So in case you find yourself in a similar position, here’s what I learned and what I did.
Make it personal
I suppose I could have wimped out and sent off a “see ya!” email. But really, no, I couldn’t. This needed to be a face-to-face conversation with the two people I report to. Since we’re not always in the office at the same time, that meant postponing the talk until I could talk to both at once. It was important to look them in the eye, explain as gently as I could why I’d be going, and listen to what they needed to say.
Since I’m not leaving for a position with another organization, but to focus on consulting, there really wasn’t a nice way to explain my decision. I aimed to be honest in the kindest way.
But stay professional
This is not the time for venting. This is not the time for laying out everything that makes you crazy. Constructive comments can help. Destructive comments do not. And they’ll almost certainly bounce back at you. Vent to your friends – the office is not the time or place for it.
Make plans for when you leave
I’ll be leaving a small organization. Staffing is very tight and I don’t think I’ll be replaced before I leave. So I gave a month’s notice. And I made a list of the projects I intended to complete before I left. Some of these were pretty big – a fundraising plan for the next 18 months, for instance. But they needed guidelines to keep things moving.
Don’t negotiate leaving
If your resignation isn’t intended as a last-ditch attempt at improving your position, don’t allow the interview to veer into negotiations. If you don’t intend to stay, be honest. While it’s very nice to hear “Don’t leave! What can we do?”, allowing the conversation to move into negotiations when you have no intention to stay isn’t fair.
Put it in writing
Though a personal meeting was necessary for the resignation, I also wrote a letter. This can go in my file – maybe the last remembrance of my time at the organization. I included my date of departure, the projects I intended to finish before I left, my gratitude for the opportunity to work there, and a few accomplishments I’m proud of. Be polite and positive.
Be sure the people who need to know also hear it from you
Before I let anyone other than a friend know that I’d resigned, I wanted to be sure my board heard. I spoke personally with the board members who had been involved in hiring me. And I asked if I could prepare a letter for the entire board. Like my resignation letter, it was short, positive and grateful. I focused at least as much on their hard work for the organization as I did on myself.
Clean up your work as much as possible
Last on my list will be cleaning up. I’ll need to put my computer files in order – so that someone new can easily find records, letters, and even notes for the future. I’ll leave websites and information I think will be helpful – and then disconnect my personal browser and dropbox. And I’ll leave behind as many “how-to” documents as I can create. The easier I can make it for my successor, the better off the organization will be.
How about you?
I’m sure I’ve forgotten to mention something. Do you have any advice about moving on? Any experiences, good or bad, that you can share? I’d love to hear!
Mazarine (@wildwomanfund) says
The last time I left a job… it wasn’t this pretty. But I’m glad that you have the time to think about how to leave in a graceful way.
Mary Cahalane says
I don’t think I’ve ever burned bridges, Mazarine. It’s not really in my character.A long time ago, a boss told me he was leaving. And then, concerned about my potential reaction said “now, don’t go and do anything rash.” Then he caught himself and laughed… yeah, that wouldn’t be me.
myersbowman says
I’ve had the opportunity to leave more than a few jobs. Some gracefully, some not. Either way, it’s always been the most stressful experience I’ve had. I applaud your integrity and thoughtfulness: not everyone can muster that in times of stress. Onward!
Mary Cahalane says
Thanks, Clay. I appreciate that!
myersbowman says
And I’ve come to prefer working under a contract with an end date. It give me and my employer/client an out if things aren’t going well. It also gives us a better chance of parting amicably.
Mary Cahalane says
There’s a lot of sense to that, Clay. My tendency has been to stay put. I spent 12 years at one organization, then 7 at the next. But perhaps I’m just a little older and wiser now and knew it was right.
Vu says
Congrats on your new chapter, Mary. Thanks for the great tips. Keep writing!!
Mary Cahalane says
Thanks, Vu! New starts all around, right?