Do your donor communications need a few quick tips?
Improve your donor communications… I know. I just wrote about this. But there’s a bit more… and if you’re like me, more ideas are hard to resist.
You’ve probably heard you should write fast and edit slowly.
And so you should. But how do you turn that rambling first draft into an effective appeal or newsletter?
There’s an art to writing great donor communications. It takes time to learn. And plenty of trial and error. So a few weeks back, I offered some tips to improve your fundraising appeals fast. And today, I’m back with some more.
First, don’t despair!
There are easy steps you can take to improve your donor communications.
Write your first draft. Don’t worry about how much you’re writing. We’re going to get that letter into shape!
1. Rearrange paragraphs until they make sense.
Often, you’ll have said what you want to say. But as you write it, the ideas pop show up in places that don’t make sense. Walk away a bit. Then come back and move anything that’s not in the right place.
2. Improve your donor communications: cut out your throat-clearing warm-up.
It’s inevitable. You begin to write an appeal… but you need to work your way into it. That’s fine when you’re writing your draft. Don’t hold back then or you’ll never get it done. Free yourself to spill everything on the page. But then go back. You’ll probably find the right opening somewhere in the body.
Remember that the first line has one job: get someone to read the second line. (Do you want to guess what the second line’s job is?)
3. Cut out any paragraphs that don’t fit.
So you’ve just poured your heart out on the page. Now look back and see if there’s anything that isn’t needed, or is misplaced. Remember that you know exactly what you’re writing about… because it’s all in your head. But your readers won’t. Now’s the time to cut or move anything that doesn’t make sense or add to your goal.
4. Effective donor communications: Look for your asks
(You do have multiple, specific asks, right?) If you’re writing an appeal, be sure to include some right at the start. Make sure you repeat the ask throughout the appeal. You can’t depend on a donor to read every word. We know that people skim instead. So whether by direct mail or email, you want an ask under their eye wherever their eye lands.
5. Find the conjunctions. Then consider creating two sentences instead
Shorter sentences are easier to understand. And you can start a sentence with “and” or “but”. (I won’t tell your 4th-grade English teacher.)
6. Stronger donor communications: Look for instances of the verb “to be.”
“Be” and its relatives are excellent little verbs. We use them constantly. BUT… they’re usually not the strongest verb you can use. They sit back a bit and hesitate a little. You want something more active. So replace them when you can with a stronger, more active verb.
6. Look at your adverbs and adjectives.
We all do this, too. I’m as guilty as any. But adverbs are what we do when we can’t think of something more direct. So look carefully: are those adverbs necessary or decorative? Cut them if you don’t need them. And while adjectives are useful, don’t go overboard. The more simple and clear you are, the better.
7. The word at the heart of donor communications: Count your “you.”
Why? You is magic. We look for that word (or versions of it) because we focus on what matters to us. And what matters to us is us. 馃檪
Using the word “you” frequently puts the donor in the spotlight. Using “we” instead focuses on your organization. But you’re not writing to your organization… you’re writing to your donor. Address them. Ask them to act. Offer them an active role.
You want to use the word often. If you circle or highlight “you”, your page should be crawling with it. Because, again, we look for ourselves on the page. And if you use the word often you’re addressing your reader directly.
Want to know more? Here are some experts I turn to for stronger donor communications:
And too many more I’m forgetting… so apologies in advance!
Deirdre Gelinne says
Very helpful, Mary. Thanks! Deirdre